An Applicant's New Year's resolutions

As I embark on yet another application cycle with a new set of ambitious, inspiring young people trying to become doctors, dentists and PAs, I reflect back on the last 12 cycles I've helped people through. Each year, people come to me with unique stories, backgrounds, and challenges, yet for the most part, the groups have been pretty similar. The fear, anxiety, stress and "what ifs" that come with applying to a health profession program eat away at people's personalities to the point where many operate in survival mode, purely terrified of failure. That's why, I assume, they come to me. I'm the secret sauce. But I definitely don't see myself like that most of the time. Most days, I feel like the nurturing mother, the therapist, and the voice of reason. The person who sometimes says bluntly, "You need to calm down" while other days, I can more softly assure someone that they are amazing and exactly where they are supposed to be. Either way, I am content helping people with this very real obstacle.

As I enter the New Year, New Me phase of the year, I have been thinking about what I would wish for my next group of applicants in terms of resolutions. What behaviors would I like them to change, what actions to take, what to avoid....there are many. I decided to put togther an Applicant's New Year's Resolution list for those applying in the 26-27 Application Year. Take what you want. Leave the rest. My words are only meant to help.

One: Stop Reading Harmful Sites

Sites like Reddit, SDN or any forum where unfettered, unfiltered and most importantly ignorant sources post whatever they want often create more stress and confusion than they do helpful information. I get why people seek others' experiences and perspectives. They want to know "the truth". Do I have a chance? These sites will tell them what they fear most about themselves: That they are not good enough. Despite me telling them that they are good enough, they will seek the unprofessional opinions of others to feed their own insecurities. It's sad.

Two: Stop Discussing Your Journey Around Toxic People

Whether it's your uncle at a family dinner or a your colleague in your research lab, people will ask you questions about your application process, and without solicitation, begin giving you feedback, telling you how you should write your statement or worse, not to apply at all. I can't tell you how many derailed applicants I had to rebuild because some old PI or med school cousin sent someone spiraling with half truths. If you discussing your application with someone leaves you feeling discouraged, afraid, sad, or deflated, they might be toxic for you. My advice has remained the same over the years: Just don't talk about it with them. You can avoid the topic, leave, or be honest that talking about it makes you feel bad. But stop subjecting yourself to self-harm.

Three: Get a Therapist

I don't care how perfect your childhood was, this process has a way at eating away at people. If you have any residual emotional disregulation (ie you cry easily or rage out), you can identify that with a therapist and work on some healthy coping strategies. Especially if you have any anxiety, including test anxiety, I encourage you to talk to a professional. There is zero shame in having a therapist throughout this process and beyond.

Four: Don't Lose Yourself

For so long, you have been asking, "What do they want to see?" I worry you have stopped asking, "What do I want to do?" Starting with this question will solve so many conundrums. You are applying to medical school. That is an action....not an identity. You are a whole person with friends, interests and goals outside of becoming a doctor. Don't forget who you are. Choose to do things just for yourself.

Five: Stay Consistent

Practically speaking, you need to get your application done. That requires time, energy and a lot of revisions! You need to start early and consistently work on all parts of your application. Please do not check out for 2-3 weeks at a time. If you are struggling, just schedule an appointment with me (Joanne) and we can talk it out. I promise you that I've heart it all. NOTHING you tell me will surprise me or cause me to judge you. Just be open with me about how you're feeling, and we can find a solution or I will just listen, but not doing anything for weeks on end will create unnecessary delays and stress later.